Collection Agent Gifts

"Now let's talk about fines and penalties."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Nuts to you, too."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'This must be heaven, because you sure look like an angel....'

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

"Why so grim, handsome?"

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

OMG UR HOT

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Do you come here often?'

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'I'm putting you in charge of past due accounts.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I wonder what this was for."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"Fancy crashing at my pad later, babe?"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

Delinquent Accounts - Day Late, Dollar Short.

"Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing!"

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

"It's the government, they've spent all our taxes and want to know if we can send them some more."

"Brrr - it was so cold today I had my hands in my own pockets instead of someone elses!"

'How old is this vase?'