Cold Comic Gifts

'I hope I don't catch cold from this. I'm trying to kick the baby aspirin habit.'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"How come we never have 'Baked Alaska'?"

Jim Carrey,

'YOU are fed up with it . . . How do you think I feel?'

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

John Cleese.

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

"It looks like it's an eye bank."

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

Spike Milligan

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

Greco-polar wrestling

'I see a lot of that at this time of year...you've got a nasty case of cabin fever!'

Woody Allen

"Any kids here tonight? Oh, wait... I guess not...since I didn't see any on the menu."

"A barista should always follow his instincts."

'Huge waves, loose shorts and a body like a gourd. I was never going to make it through summer without a serious privacy breach.'

Alan Carr

'Don't believe everything you hear about global cooling, it's just a theory.'

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

Home Sweet Mortgage (worth more than the house).

The Cartoonists

Comedy course highlights fake nose

'Where is the global warming when you want it?'

'What have I told you about laughing on purpose, Mother?'

'What's Iggy doing home from school at this time of day?'

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

My tail's cold.

'Constant euphoria is bound to cause some issues.'

"Obviously, if I have to explain the joke, it's not funny anymore..."