Coffin Enthusiast Gifts

'If a bear attacks and I have to play dead I want it to be as convincing as possible!'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Eternal Student.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

Selling lemon latt�

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'These are job perks.'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"At this office no two days are different."

Back to work...

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Allegro con molto espresso

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

"The more coffee I drink, the more these motivational posters make sense."

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

You've Had Enough!

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'Who gets the decaf?'