Muffin Enthusiast Gifts

Once again, the conversation gets too heated, and the selection of a state muffin has to be shelved until next year.

"Miss Preen, I taste coconut. Did we perform due diligence on this muffin?"

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

"I don't want to hear 'can't' - you find out where the Special Forces are deployed, and you send them some goddam muffin baskets!"

"The first mistake was bringing donuts to a room full of muffin people."

'Sarah and her all-day muffin'

Suddenly McAngus realised these must be the blueberry muffins he had ordered throughout his life but had never been served.

'Pete's coffee shop? I'm calling from precision Labs. Please send over a chocolate muffin and a large container of coffee with 4.7 sugar and 12.2 cream.'

'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 50 calories? False advertising.'

'Ignore your classmates' teasing. You're supposed to have a muffin top.'

"Well yes, I admit it, I ate Young Master's homework, but in my defence, it was his "Food Technology" homework: savoury muffins..."

"Time for a bath, my little muffin...and get all those nooks and crannies!"

Tartine

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Eternal Student.

Rage.

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

You've Had Enough!

Love is when you watch television together.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

Writers without borders.

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

'Would you all please congatulate...'