Muffin Munchers Gifts

'You've come at a bad time. He's in but he hasn't had his muffin and coffee yet.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

Full English Breakfast.

'Ahhhh?I love the smell of a staff meeting in the morning!'

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

Mock Fight At The Bakery

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

"Like you, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I need to monitor my food intake otherwise I could be too heavy to fly..."

Munch Master.

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

"Blueberry muffins. My wife made them."

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

"For my next trick I will turn this ordinary muffin into a delicious cupcake."

"The food must be good here. Look at the drool on the menus."

Thoughtful kiddies' midnight snacks overtax my bulging slacks … The load I haul back to my shack is bigger than the one I packed.

Knights of the Coffee Table

'Pete's coffee shop? I'm calling from precision Labs. Please send over a chocolate muffin and a large container of coffee with 4.7 sugar and 12.2 cream.'

'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 50 calories? False advertising.'

"You asked for runny!"

Once again, the conversation gets too heated, and the selection of a state muffin has to be shelved until next year.

Santa contemplates whether or not to leave presents.

I was eating my muffin and drinking my latte when I noticed the tv on your wall is only 1080p resolution. That's right. So you admit it! Your tv is not an 8k UHD television! And yet your sign outside says "good eats and state of the art tech inside." That's false advertising. I might be willing to forgo the class action lawsuit and settle out of court. I'd settle for a 1080p tv. Get out.

"The first mistake was bringing donuts to a room full of muffin people."

"Well yes, I admit it, I ate Young Master's homework, but in my defence, it was his "Food Technology" homework: savoury muffins..."

Why can't we go vegetarian, mom? It's not so easy. You're letting the giant forces of agribusiness run your life! Mo-om! Dad and I are starving! Where's the beef? It's the smaller forces of agri-vation that give me problems.

"With a heart I have to worry about cholesterol."

Baking

"Miss Preen, I taste coconut. Did we perform due diligence on this muffin?"

'Sarah and her all-day muffin'

After you finish picking the poppies for opium, don't forget to save some seeds for my lemon muffins.

Eggs. Hot cake. Ernie, you eat the same stuff for breakfast every morning! He's a cereal monogamist!