Muffin Magician Gifts

"For my next trick I will turn this ordinary muffin into a delicious cupcake."

Domestic Goddess.

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

Party time.

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

'Ahhhh?I love the smell of a staff meeting in the morning!'

The louder the kid, the tighter the lid.

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

Little chef.

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

Mock Fight At The Bakery

"Today's special is puréed sweet potato on cracker."

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

"Congratulations! You unlocked the devil in your coffee. Microwave a seventh time and you'll meet L. Ron Hubbard."

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'After you with the camouflage.'

Win-win. Whenever I hear that from you, I want to hide under the counter. New research shows the only proven way to prolong life is caloric restriction. Eat less, live longer. Introducing our new breakfast meal plan: The Fountain of Youth. You get half a muffin and half a glass of water. Sounds meager. Exactly. That's why we're charging $16. But a full muffin only costs $4. And it won't prolong your life. Can you even put a price on immortality? How much should we charge for an empty plate of ai

'Carb or non-carb section?'

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

"Blueberry muffins. My wife made them."

'You'll find loaves in the pantry and fishes in the freezer.'

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

'Howard's short stay in the hospital was good for both of us. He finally appreciates my cooking.'

"Every time my wife has an accident in the kitchen, I end up eating it. . ."

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

"And there it is... Coronation chicken"

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"