Muffin Enthusiasts Gifts

Depression and Anxiety

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Joined at the hipster.

"Recalculating route..."

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Ahhhh?I love the smell of a staff meeting in the morning!'

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

Night-shift entrance

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

"This is NOT what I meant when I said you kids could have more screen time."

'Your future looks charming.'

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'You were fired from your last job when they caught you putting artificial sweetener in your coffee.'

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

Mock Fight At The Bakery

'What do you mean, you want a coffee break?!'

"No caffè latte? And you call yourselves a bookstore?"

'The Final Merger'

'What a gyp! Yesterday, after I got fixed, I put my testicles under my pillow, and all I got was a quarter!'