Muffins Gifts

'Pete's coffee shop? I'm calling from precision Labs. Please send over a chocolate muffin and a large container of coffee with 4.7 sugar and 12.2 cream.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"Move ten paces, turn, then fire. Ready?" "Dibs on the hat."

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

"Recalculating route..."

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Ahhhh?I love the smell of a staff meeting in the morning!'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

Little chef.

"This is NOT what I meant when I said you kids could have more screen time."

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

'Your future looks charming.'

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

Mock Fight At The Bakery

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

'The Final Merger'

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

'What a gyp! Yesterday, after I got fixed, I put my testicles under my pillow, and all I got was a quarter!'

'Well at least we've got some shade from the sun.'

"If this means we're married the future looks gnarly."

'Tarzan of the Kangaroos'

The Heating Oil Problem.

Computers affect real life.