Muffin Maven Gifts

'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 20 calories? Easy, false advertising.'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Muscles

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Little chef.

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

"Arthur, I need my space."

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

"That's how my father looked when I told him I was going to marry you."

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

"It's my attorney. Have you seen my list of things about you that drive me crazy?"

'All he wants is sex, sex, sex!'

Moon Martini

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

Body Building Mishap

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

'Our mutual fund management changed the name of the fund to clearly communicate their investment objectives. The fund is now called 'Make Money Anyway We Can'.'

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'