Morning Meal Maven Gifts

Little Dark Specks

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

So Far So Good

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

I'm sorry, Miss. I can't involve the bouncer just to "teach somebody a lesson." Menu.

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

"It's a sprain in your left porterhouse."

"Here's our everything's included meal kit. How do they stuff a cook and dishwasher in there?"

"I'm leaving you for someone who does care what we have for dinner."

'Waiter, I don't remember ordering this gristle!'

'Hi, I'm Raoul...I shall be your talking point of the evening.'

"Same thing every morning. Crack of Don at the crack of dawn."

"Hurry, dear, it's the Brutal Gourmet."

'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 20 calories? Easy, false advertising.'

'Hey!! When you get thirsty running, you drink WATER!!'

'I think I may be lactose intolerant.'

Wordplay: Road Rage

You should have come earlier, sir -- we're all out of worms.

'Leave me alone. I'm resting my steak.'

'That's strange. No ingredient labelling anywhere!'

"Would you like to look at the menu sir?"

'A simple 'I like mine hard boiled' would have done!'

"Just who is our new interactive toaster interacting with?"

"This is it! The perfect turkey!"

'I made you coffee.'

"Who had the extra thick shake?"

Eggs. Hot cake. Ernie, you eat the same stuff for breakfast every morning! He's a cereal monogamist!

"Are you ready to pound down some breakfast?"

TV dinners: Standard Widescreen

"Would you care to see a list of food additives?"

"Don't look now, …. It's the other white meat."

'Louis Pasteur's secret project...' 'NOw I'll corner the market with these chocolate, strawberry and vanilla Pasteurized milkshakes.'

'This stuff must be bad for us...it tastes good.'