Meat Maven Gifts

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

"Can I get you anything from the meat bar?"

"It's a sprain in your left porterhouse."

"Don't look now, …. It's the other white meat."

'The customer you short-weighted is back for her pound of flesh.'

'Leave me alone. I'm resting my steak.'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"States of tofu"

Muscles

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

"Was that my pager or yours?"

Ski lift mobile

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Nature Lovers

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

"Arthur, I need my space."

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

"The doctor told me I needed to burn some fat, so I'm grilling a steak!"

"It's my attorney. Have you seen my list of things about you that drive me crazy?"

'All he wants is sex, sex, sex!'

'Knock it off, Gus! This is tough enough without your yodeling!'

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

Body Building Mishap