Muffin Minimalist Gifts

Soup of the month.

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

All Natural Nothing

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

Little chef.

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"For some, minimalism begins at a very early age..."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Can you just recommend something? Neither of us can possibly focus long enough to read a menu."

"My compliments to the can opener."

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

"Blueberry muffins. My wife made them."

'...and the property comes with a fully fitted kitchen'

"If it says to add water, and I'm the one who adds it, I'm cooking."

'You don't need to worry Jean, he's a very simple cook.'

'They use paper plates.'

'You want to take our relationship a bit slower How about we only sms once a day'

"Do you have this in a flat brown sandal?"

'I warned you...I can only cook two dishes: beef stroganoff and cheese cake.'

"No wonder he's so skinny - he eats like a bird."

"I want a natural birth, no make-up, no lip gloss, no..."

'Too many choices to make up your mind? No problem. We also have abbreviated menus.'

"Let me see if I have it correctly, sir. To hell with the appetizer. A chopped sirloin that damn well better be rare. No goddam relish tray. Who cares which salad dressing, since they all taste like sludge?"

"For my next trick I will turn this ordinary muffin into a delicious cupcake."

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

'Pete's coffee shop? I'm calling from precision Labs. Please send over a chocolate muffin and a large container of coffee with 4.7 sugar and 12.2 cream.'

'We don't have menus, sir - the chef thinks they're counterproductive.'

Posh restaurant - 'We'll have the sandwiches.'

"Nothing for me, thanks."

'I never understood kitchen tables. Why do you think I gave you a lap?'

'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 50 calories? False advertising.'