Food Minimalist Gifts

All Natural Nothing

LAY ZEE FUK

Soup of the month.

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"My compliments to the can opener."

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"Can you just recommend something? Neither of us can possibly focus long enough to read a menu."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

Restaurant: Come & Get It! Bland Cuisine - 'Just plain food, good, but nothing fancy.'

"And the kitchen is ideal for people who like to eat out."

"I'm going across the street for a sandwich and coffee. Can I get you something?"

"Do you have this in a flat brown sandal?"

'They use paper plates.'

'You don't need to worry Jean, he's a very simple cook.'

"No wonder he's so skinny - he eats like a bird."

"Never mind the cost of living crisis, dear, you still need your 5-a-day."

"If it says to add water, and I'm the one who adds it, I'm cooking."

'Too many choices to make up your mind? No problem. We also have abbreviated menus.'

"Let me see if I have it correctly, sir. To hell with the appetizer. A chopped sirloin that damn well better be rare. No goddam relish tray. Who cares which salad dressing, since they all taste like sludge?"

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

'We don't have menus, sir - the chef thinks they're counterproductive.'

Posh restaurant - 'We'll have the sandwiches.'

"I think investors have been a bit concerned about these tiny 'microflats' we're converting."

"Nothing for me, thanks."

"I envy you, not having any idea of what's going on these days."

'I get this awful dream where I'm walking down the street - Completely clothed!'

'The Nihilist Deli'

Pre-digested convenience foods.

"You've got to admit their outright elimination of the hamburger was a stroke of sheer financial genius!"

'My mother was always dieting...To this day I think of a home-cooked meal as grapefruit and black coffee.'

"Don't forget your five a day."

'We no longer serve trans-fats. Would you like some lettuce broth?'

'Boil in the bag or microwaved?'

'Brilliant - cold porridge and stale bread again!'