Coffee Station Raconteur Gifts

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

"The boss says he can remember the day I first started...but nothing after that."

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

"House red, sir?"

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

And that, gentlemen, is my opinion for what it's worth.

"He assured me the merger is nothing to worry about."

"Bartleson, are we cronies yet?"

Road Kill Cafe.

"Sergio, you are the best father in the world. Except, you know, when you're not."

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"The employer-employee bond is sometimes difficult to sever."

'Hi, I'm Leo. How's the food here?'

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

Are substitutions permitted? If they were, don't you think I would have substituted another customer for you? Menu.

"Sparkling, Still, or Gushing?"

'Did I wake up feeling grumpy this morning?... No, I let him sleep!'

Rick decides to save his real lyrics for when someone is actually listening.

'We're out of pheasant under glass, M'sieur — is duck soup close enough?'

'Sure, the term 'lab rat' has a lot of negative connotations but having drugs tested on you isn't so bad if you're a hypochondriac...'

"Old, you've seemed a bit down recently. Do you need anything?"

'Dear Abby: I continually find myself asking for advice from complete strangers. Please help.'

'It's a cheeky little wine!'

'You can always tell the ones with the big severance buyouts.'

"Oh, I'm not arguing. I'm just stating my opinion and ignoring everything you say."

Commuting with Sardinetrack - 'Coo, don't they pack us in?'