Food Service Raconteur Gifts

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"Rump roast?"

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'Do you call this spaghetti'

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

"That's two tossed salads, one egg drop soup, and one pulled pork."

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'

Cook asking for her vinaigrette after recieving an offer from the dustman

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

"House red, sir?"

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

Road Kill Cafe.

''Catch of the day' is anyone who tries to leave without paying.'

"Hello, my name is Tony. I'm your waiter, and I'll be dining with you tonight."