Food Service Raconteur T-Shirts

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"Rump roast?"

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'Do you call this spaghetti'

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

Cook asking for her vinaigrette after recieving an offer from the dustman

"House red, sir?"

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

''Catch of the day' is anyone who tries to leave without paying.'

"Hello, my name is Tony. I'm your waiter, and I'll be dining with you tonight."

Road Kill Cafe.