Foodie Raconteur T-Shirts

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

Come dine with me!

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

Domestic Goddess.

6 Brothers Falafel

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"You owe me five bucks."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

Garlic Free Zone.

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

"You're about to learn what New York hot dogs are made from."

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Tzatzikicicle

"...And would sir care to kill the rabbit himself?"

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."