Foodie Conversationalist T-Shirts

'Wine and. . . fresh news. . .'

"Talk doesn't cook rice...but it does make it more enjoyable!"

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

Jewish Geometry

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

Uncle Giving Boy a Mince Pie

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'