Foodie Linguist T-Shirts

'Fondants and cervelats gave the foodie ataraxy.'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

'Hard to follow...'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"Bill just does celebrity cook-books these days, that's where the real money is."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'