Food Narrative Buff T-Shirts

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Hard to follow...'

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'Do you call this spaghetti'

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

"Bill just does celebrity cook-books these days, that's where the real money is."

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

Culture clash

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

The staple grains tended to look down on the more specialized fare... like quinoa.

'Would that be rare, or medium rare?'

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

Cook asking for her vinaigrette after recieving an offer from the dustman

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'

Eve's Gourmet Apple Recipes (snake with apple in its mouth).

'Todays special - egg on Ronay'

Last Will and Testament: Salt, Pepper, Tarragon, Garlic.

The Cud Food Guide

'Not only do you need a good dish to win on this cooking show, you need a good story!'

Chef makes a cook book.

"And there it is... Coronation chicken"

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

'Big turnover at center ice! Mmm...looks delicious.'