Food Service Enthusiast Gifts

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Rump roast?"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

View to the Future

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

Menu Dating

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Advanced footsie

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

You're the sizzle in my roast!