Food Service Aficionados Gifts

"And how would you like your steak?" "Cremated."

Life is for the birds.

'A cheeky red?'

"Rump roast?"

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Advanced footsie

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

This Year's Spa

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

Platter confusion.

'Whatever he's eating.'

Wine taster with mineral water

"....and hold the garlic."

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

Sushi Train Spotters

I am to blame.

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"