Food Service Aficionados Pillows

"And how would you like your steak?" "Cremated."

Life is for the birds.

'A cheeky red?'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Rump roast?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

Advanced footsie

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

This Year's Spa

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

'Whatever he's eating.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Platter confusion.

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Wine taster with mineral water

"....and hold the garlic."

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

Acme Foods. Research and Development. Then it's an "no" on the Mexican Jumping Bean Dip?

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

I am to blame.

Sushi Train Spotters

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"