Food Service Wizard Gifts

Fast Food Restaurant

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

"Rump roast?"

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"We're not just some tavern, you know. Those Greek olives make us a Taverna."

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

"Would you like me to warm up your eggs?"

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"A little lamb please."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"And that is how you handle liver!"

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

Seasonal workers in the restaurant trade: 'Salt...pepper'.

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

"I'm told the items marked with happy faces are especially yummy."