Food Wizard Gifts

Little Jimmy Harmon: first to amplify the sparerib

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Lady of the Cake.

I will study my speling words...

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Domestic Goddess.

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"It's a play on words."

The Family Joules: Part 21

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.

"Could you repeat that word?"

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."