Coffee Chat Fan Gifts

I'm not a liar. I'm a fictional character. There's a difference. !

'I'm an Earth sign and Clive is a Water sign. Together we make mud.'

"If I use twitter to communicate, does that make me a twit?"

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"The days of 'herding cats' are over: my friends and I meet through video-conferencing now..."

"You order the raspberry danish?"

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

'But you distinctly said working breakfast.'

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"Bob, it's about your branding."

"Could you repeat all that, I lost you at 'good morning.'"

Darlene? Rudy? I heard you might be hanging out here. I thought I'd come by just to say hello and see how you're doing. That's nice. Coffee King. I love you. Hence Coffee King. House of Java.

'Normally I don't mind regifting but on occasion you get back the same hideous thing you tried to get rid of.'

Voting on their Seats

"I'm dating a much younger guy....makes sense, my ex was a cheetah."

"I've been dating this homeless guy..."

"Wow, I did not see that coming."

'Well there hasn't been a ring yet! But he did say that we were going to look at bridle wear - so, I know what that means. . . he loves me, Joanne.'

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

"Looks like Amazon is going to start delivering babies."

"Remind me what I was talking about—I wasn't listening."

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

'My life began at 40 but my credit problems had a huge head start.'

Going to a split screen doesn't count as a second opinion, doctor.

'I'm not concerned that coffee might keep me awake all night. I have credit problems that do that for me.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'Do as I did - Learn to drink quicker.'

'But, by not getting married, we've eliminated any chance of divorce.'

"I'm not stalking you. I'm binge-watching you."

'I don't dare ask my students to answer questions - they keep expecting prizes like on Oprah.'

"I wouldn't want it to be widely known, but Jeff and I are happy in all the major domains of life."

Can I have another free biscuit for my dog? Sure. Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits? You sure this is for your dog? Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?