Coffee And Conversation Fan Gifts

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"You order the raspberry danish?"

"I wish you'd stop obsessively checking your feed!"

'But you distinctly said working breakfast.'

"You're actually passing notes in class? That is so retro!"

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

"Okay, now this time just start chasing the squirrel instead of asking it to dance."

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

The Double Double Punch

"Just a minute - I'm uploading."

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

Vents, real and digital.

'Are you accusing my dog of identity theft?'

Couriers and their customers often share a warm relationship.

'At the tone please leave your name and number.'

"Well, saying it over and over again doesn't make it true."

"Sure, we have problems, but at least we can talk about them."

"If I use twitter to communicate, does that make me a twit?"

"That's kingsize?"

It's a text from the patient. He says 'more anesthetic, please.'"

'Uh oh, Kemosabe...We're being spammed!'

"I've got this phobia about paying bills...."

Woman and dog with mobiles

'I hear he died laughing...while texting.'

"Coffee's been making me jittery, so I'm trying some herbal tea."