Casual Conversation Fan Gifts

"I'm getting pizza, just like always - What about you?"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

Mr Metrosexual.

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

'But you distinctly said working breakfast.'

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

"Sorry, boss, I do care if I ever get back — that was just the peanuts and Cracker Jack talking."

Just a little heads up!

"I wish you'd stop obsessively checking your feed!"

The Schmoozy Reaper

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

'I drink to bring about change.'

'It's a doughnut - just eat it!'

"Okay, now this time just start chasing the squirrel instead of asking it to dance."

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

"Some days I really wish I had finished med school. Not that I ever started med school."

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

"You don't have to schedule a follow-up visit. You just come back whenever you want."

'Last night Gary put me in an impossible position.'

"Round of golf or a round of drinks?"

"I hate rhetorical questions. Know what I mean?"

"Half-dressed Covid pizza special."

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

"Sorry. I was expecting the lady. I can see you're busy. I'll call sometime. We'll do lunch."