Casual Conversation Lover Gifts

"WE had a complete communications breakdown in the office today. The water cooler was removed!"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"After a long day or remote work, it feels great to change into something less comfortable."

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'I see an applicant being hired!'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

Just a little heads up!

The Schmoozy Reaper

Bar Therapy

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

'I drink to bring about change.'

'This one is for not intervening in countries that don't threaten us.'

"Some days I really wish I had finished med school. Not that I ever started med school."

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

'It's a doughnut - just eat it!'

"You don't have to schedule a follow-up visit. You just come back whenever you want."

"Would you describe your gall as mitigated or unmitigated?"

The social isolation of the entomologist...

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

'Mind you, this isn't a secret I'd tell just everybody.'

"Round of golf or a round of drinks?"

Hoodie

"I hate rhetorical questions. Know what I mean?"

'Last night Gary put me in an impossible position.'

'The Big Kahuna!'