Casual Conversationalists Gifts

"How interesting I've never met an underachiever before."

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

'I'm not particularly religious, but I do believe in Harvey.'

"Hot enough for you?"

"How's the weather? Sorry. I don't talk politics in bars."

"Heard any good confessions lately..?"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

Snow is falling...

"Dude, Amazon is so popular they named a river after it."

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

Actually, I prefer to think of my body as repurposed.

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

Mobile Phones, "Now we are together we will proceed to the business of the day."

Just a little heads up!

"I understand it all started when he ordered extra toppings on a pizza."

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

The Schmoozy Reaper

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

'I drink to bring about change.'

"Some days I really wish I had finished med school. Not that I ever started med school."

'It's a doughnut - just eat it!'

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"You don't have to schedule a follow-up visit. You just come back whenever you want."

'Last night Gary put me in an impossible position.'

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'