Casual Converser Gifts

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"I'd love to chat longer, but I've got to get this guy to a hospital."

'Um, hey, Bill, um... sorry to bother you, but, um... you didn't by any chance have purple parachute straps, did you?'

'This wine speaks for itself.' 'Howdy!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'She'll never look for me here.'

Infinity Tavern

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

"Dude, Amazon is so popular they named a river after it."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'Maybe we could hold the wedding on 'Casual Friday'.'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

Just a little heads up!

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

Actually, I prefer to think of my body as repurposed.

The Schmoozy Reaper

"I've got a very responsible job. If anything goes wrong, I'm responsible."

'It's a doughnut - just eat it!'

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

"Some days I really wish I had finished med school. Not that I ever started med school."

'I drink to bring about change.'

"You don't have to schedule a follow-up visit. You just come back whenever you want."

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

"I hate rhetorical questions. Know what I mean?"

"Sir, you said that it's high time to fix the problem, so I rearranged the furniture, watered the flowers and made fresh coffee. If that wasn't enough then maybe we should find some problems that fit our solutions."

Man with t-shirt 'I *spade* my dog'.

'Last night Gary put me in an impossible position.'

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

"Round of golf or a round of drinks?"

"Sorry. I was expecting the lady. I can see you're busy. I'll call sometime. We'll do lunch."