Candid Conversation Lover Gifts

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Could I ask just one question?"

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

Men gossiping

Protest

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

"My world is Tribeca, lars, and yours is a different world."

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

'I see an applicant being hired!'

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

Attention Span Man

'Mom can I have another apple?'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

Big Talk/Small Talk.

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. What do "man-to-man talks" usually consist of? What? I've never really had one, I don't think. What usually goes into them? Sports? Shaving? Carburetors? A little of this, a little of that. There's a proper ratio, of course. I'm not good at math.

Bar Therapy

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

White Wine Wisdom (2)

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."