Casual Humor Fan Gifts

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

Skipping Horse

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

The Snooze Bar.

Dog in casino.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

A Golden Non-Retriever

Beer Parasol.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

tRUMp, Pirate President

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

No, I don

Girl in cow onesie.

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"Fish finder."

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

Presidential surveillance ass!"