Casual Humor Lover Gifts

'This one is for not intervening in countries that don't threaten us.'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'She'll never look for me here.'

A Golden Non-Retriever

Infinity Tavern

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

The worm that churned!

"Pass that."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

"I was kicked out from another kid's bed. Do you mind if I crash under yours for awhile?"

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

"Bad news. Our heads aren't lightbulbs."

"Look! A sushi bar!"

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

"I said 'follow,' not stalk your bliss!"

'I'VE GOT EYE CANDY!'

"Excuse me, but I'm the only one who opens cans around here!"

"My reflexes are not what they used to be: This is how I catch birds now..."

Banana

How it started: How it's going

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

'Now, Mrs Althorpe, if you think you see the man who assaulted you, we just want you to touch him on the shoulder.' (Mrs Althorpe beats a man up and then says she doesn't recognise any of them)

'My biological clock finally went off.'

"I've got a very responsible job. If anything goes wrong, I'm responsible."

"Charlie's really interested in co-operative housing..."

'I propose a day of mild exasperation in response to Richard Dawkins.'

"Must go now Zelda. The builders have just arrived"

Helicopter rescues mouse in maze.