Coffee And Conversations Fan Gifts

'But you distinctly said working breakfast.'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

"Great coffee, Carole."

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"You order the raspberry danish?"

Sermon on the Grounds...

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

"I wish you'd stop obsessively checking your feed!"

"You're actually passing notes in class? That is so retro!"

"Okay, now this time just start chasing the squirrel instead of asking it to dance."

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

Darlene? Rudy? I heard you might be hanging out here. I thought I'd come by just to say hello and see how you're doing. That's nice. Coffee King. I love you. Hence Coffee King. House of Java.

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

"It just wasn't working out. He's liberal low-carb and I'm strict keto."

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

The Double Double Punch

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

Vents, real and digital.

'Are you accusing my dog of identity theft?'

Couriers and their customers often share a warm relationship.

'Whipped cream?'

"Damn To-Go punks!"

3...2...1...I'm Recording

'At the tone please leave your name and number.'

"If I use twitter to communicate, does that make me a twit?"

It's a text from the patient. He says 'more anesthetic, please.'"

'Uh oh, Kemosabe...We're being spammed!'

Woman and dog with mobiles

"I've got this phobia about paying bills...."

"Coffee's been making me jittery, so I'm trying some herbal tea."