Animal Conversation Fan Gifts

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

"I wish you'd stop obsessively checking your feed!"

'What's up with the milk?'

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

"Going anywhere nice this weekend?"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

Head over Hooves

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

Wolf Karaoke

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

"I'm fascinated by body language."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

'This is a real barnburner.'

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

"Have you mistakenly put dog food in the bird feeder?"

"I'm your Furry Godmother."

"I think they may have rumbled me, Sarge."

"We're giving you our complete cooperation. There's no need to bark at us!"

'You look quite distinguished with that gray hare on your head, Jim!'

Boarway Show

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

'Here comes another swarm - it must be that time of year again.'