Fence Chat Fan Gifts

'Gossip 50p per minute.'

"How are you getting along with your French lodger?"

'She's never been outspoken - and many have tried!'

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

En garde!

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

"The days of 'herding cats' are over: my friends and I meet through video-conferencing now..."

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

"We're giving you our complete cooperation. There's no need to bark at us!"

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

"I wish you'd stop obsessively checking your feed!"

"Bob, it's about your branding."

Parrot annoying dog.

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

En-guard dog.

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

The Neighbours from Hell....

Why are you here?

Avoid Constant Borrowing

Porcupines fencing with quills.

Acupuncture.

Desert Island Gossipping

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

'Are you accusing my dog of identity theft?'

'They have great rapport.'

'Do as I did - Learn to drink quicker.'

"If I use twitter to communicate, does that make me a twit?"

"The fence keeps the Locavores out."

"My first impression is that the victim was probably a lousy referee."

"Aren't you aware that 97% of communication is non verbal?"

'I'm an Earth sign and Clive is a Water sign. Together we make mud.'