Fence-side Chat Fan Gifts

"We seem to have a lot more time together since George started working from home."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"The days of 'herding cats' are over: my friends and I meet through video-conferencing now..."

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

"We're giving you our complete cooperation. There's no need to bark at us!"

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

"I wish you'd stop obsessively checking your feed!"

"Bob, it's about your branding."

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

Parrot annoying dog.

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

"Okay, now this time just start chasing the squirrel instead of asking it to dance."

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

The Neighbours from Hell....

Avoid Constant Borrowing

Vents, real and digital.

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

'Are you accusing my dog of identity theft?'

'They have great rapport.'

"The fence keeps the Locavores out."

"If I use twitter to communicate, does that make me a twit?"

'Do as I did - Learn to drink quicker.'

It's a text from the patient. He says 'more anesthetic, please.'"

"I've got this phobia about paying bills...."

"Aren't you aware that 97% of communication is non verbal?"

'I'm an Earth sign and Clive is a Water sign. Together we make mud.'

"Polly wanna quaker."

"Going anywhere nice this weekend?"

'I hear he died laughing...while texting.'

"Do you know who I'd like a one-to-one with?"