Fence-side Chat Enthusiast Gifts

'I didn't know he was a drinker until he arrived home sober one day.'

Woman on the phone.

"Beware of Don"

Boys and Girls: Differences in Internet Surfing.

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

"Let's just do the top layer."

'As a teleworker Colin sometimes struggled against feelings of isolation.'

"It's just a dinner table conversation. Must you refer to it as 'Talking Off-line'."

Why are you here?

'Fill 'er up!'

'Life! Give my conversation liiiife!'

Avoid Constant Borrowing

The Neighbours from Hell....

'I just got off the phone with my long-time writing partner who's bringing over my deathbed confessional masterpiece. In the meantime, who's up for some idle chit-chat? How about all this rain we've been getting, huh?!"

'It has to have tall fences.'

"Are we talking about life style or orientation?"

How does she get her grass so green?

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'Actually I never had any desire to go into that field until they built this fence.'

Bob searched far and wide for his soul mate. It looked promising, aside from the language barrier and shipping costs.

Airport Literature

"You're not holding up your end of the conversation."

'Why do we always talk about this stuff?'

"We seem to have a lot more time together since George started working from home."

'Listen! If it is a secret, don't tell me: I tend to repeat everything out loud over and over again...'

'...Hi. Just called to say I ate a bag of chips.'

"Quick, let me through. I'm a gossip."

"Deep down I'm really shallow."

'I've never heard anything so disgusting in all my life. What happened next?'

"And finally...."

'Gossip 50p per minute.'

"Just a minute, this is the gossip I told you last week, and asked you not to repeat."

Can we have our ball back please?

"Just my luck! I build a 15 foot privacy fence and then a family of giraffes moves in next door!"