Fence-side Chat Enthusiast Pillows

'I didn't know he was a drinker until he arrived home sober one day.'

"Beware of Don"

Woman on the phone.

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

Boys and Girls: Differences in Internet Surfing.

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

"Let's just do the top layer."

'As a teleworker Colin sometimes struggled against feelings of isolation.'

"It's just a dinner table conversation. Must you refer to it as 'Talking Off-line'."

'Life! Give my conversation liiiife!'

Avoid Constant Borrowing

'Fill 'er up!'

'I just got off the phone with my long-time writing partner who's bringing over my deathbed confessional masterpiece. In the meantime, who's up for some idle chit-chat? How about all this rain we've been getting, huh?!"

The Neighbours from Hell....

Why are you here?

'It has to have tall fences.'

"Are we talking about life style or orientation?"

How does she get her grass so green?

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'Actually I never had any desire to go into that field until they built this fence.'

Bob searched far and wide for his soul mate. It looked promising, aside from the language barrier and shipping costs.

Airport Literature

"You're not holding up your end of the conversation."

'Why do we always talk about this stuff?'

"We seem to have a lot more time together since George started working from home."

'Listen! If it is a secret, don't tell me: I tend to repeat everything out loud over and over again...'

'...Hi. Just called to say I ate a bag of chips.'

"Deep down I'm really shallow."

"Quick, let me through. I'm a gossip."

"Eastbound traffic is moving nicely. Westbound we have a two car pile-up on the shoulder. No, wait - they're just shootin' the breeze."

Can we have our ball back please?

'And you can no longer talk to people face to face!'

"And finally...."

'Gossip 50p per minute.'

'I've never heard anything so disgusting in all my life. What happened next?'