Cocktail Party Critic T-Shirts

"I don't have a lot of edge-I just hate you."

"I hate these cocktail parties. . !"

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Cocktails on the verandah.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

Sparks Fly When The Little Gray Suit Meets The Little Black Dress

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

"And this is Helen, my wife by a previous marriage."

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

"Aperitif?"

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

'The first cocktail.'

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

'If you start granting amnesty for people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following his conscience.'

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

"I always wondered who got my transplant."