Cocktail Commentary T-Shirts

"Lost a step? Hell, no. Those young zebras are juiced."

On holiday.

Cocktails on the verandah.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Cat Nip.

We'll have Manhattans...

Pina Coladas

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

"An everything Martini, please."

You're the botanicals in my gin

Balancing two espresso martinis

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

In case of emergency, break glass.

Margarita

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

Woman at spa having bath in a Martini cocktail glass.

Espresso Martini Peacock

"I love these off-site business meetings."

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

The Martini is invented.

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

"Another round of banana daiquiris for the lovely lady and I, please!"

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

'Fried chickens.'

Baloneystini

'You deserve some unabashed fun once in a while.'