Cocktail Philosophers T-Shirts

"What star sign am I?... Well, that depends. My body is Leo, my brain is Taurus, but in my heart I'm a Virgo."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

'The first cocktail.'

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

The New Square Mile Regulator.

Bar Therapy

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

"I unleash greed, disease, and death on the world, and you're saying you ate an apple that made you smart?"

'No thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

"Oh, no! Hugo's tried snorting Pimms"

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

Scariest Tactics

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.

'Which one has the highest alcohol content?' 'That one.'

"It was very amicable—I gave her everything."

Freud's Bar: Introspection Hour.

'Fill 'er up!'

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

"I'll have an entendre...make it a double."

"I got married once - to avoid writing."

"I was quite a successful writer once...what sort of books are you interested in?"

"Everything has been done to death."

Siggy

"Do you think of yourself as a spiritual person?"

-"For instance, this gin and tonic does not have a single molecule of gin in it!" -"It's from the staff canteen, right!"

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."