Cocktail Party Conversationalist T-Shirts

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

“No, I don’t know what Doctorow is trying to say, I don’t even know what you’re trying to say.”

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Cocktails on the verandah.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

Sparks Fly When The Little Gray Suit Meets The Little Black Dress

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

"And this is Helen, my wife by a previous marriage."

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

"Aperitif?"

'If you start granting amnesty for people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following his conscience.'

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

"To mom, apple pie, and foreign investors who keep our economy humming."

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

Corpse Reviver Number 2