Cocktail Party Conversationalist T-Shirts

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

“No, I don’t know what Doctorow is trying to say, I don’t even know what you’re trying to say.”

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Cocktails on the verandah.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

Sparks Fly When The Little Gray Suit Meets The Little Black Dress

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"And this is Helen, my wife by a previous marriage."

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"Aperitif?"

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

'If you start granting amnesty for people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following his conscience.'

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

"To mom, apple pie, and foreign investors who keep our economy humming."

"You fit in. You just don't match."

Corpse Reviver Number 2

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"