Cocktail Conversation Artist T-Shirts

"I'm sure you two will discover that you're both plagued by the same nonexistent problems."

A Good Batch.

Yoga for Alcoholics

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"I forget to drink."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

'The first cocktail.'

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

The Rind of the Ancient Mariner.

"Don't worry about the economy, dear. We'll always live large."

Bar Therapy

'It was a lot more congenial when we had happy hour.'

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

"I keep telling her she should do something with her stupid little online pieces."

"I unleash greed, disease, and death on the world, and you're saying you ate an apple that made you smart?"

"Have you ever known anyone famous?" "I have." "I've always been great friends with Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." "What? That's you." "Carry yourself like everyone knows you, and everyone you meet will feel like they should know you." "Hey, you all over there! You know me!" "You don't carry things with your mouth."

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"It's Olive isn't it?"

Need Cash for Alcohol Research.

"I know, I know — it looks silly, but you can’t imagine how warm I am."

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

Caveman turning the wheel into a bar.

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

"It's for his shakes."

"I decided to burn all my previous napkins and start fresh."

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

"I'll have an entendre...make it a double."

Freud's Bar: Introspection Hour.