Cocktail Conversation Pro T-Shirts

"I'm not really an actor; I just play one on TV."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Men gossiping

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

"I like you because you have absolutely no agenda."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"My world is Tribeca, lars, and yours is a different world."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

'The first cocktail.'

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

White Wine Wisdom (2)

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

Bar Therapy

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

'The divorce was ugly, but not as ugly as the marriage.'

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

'This is our real-time chat room.'

"Hold that afterthought!"

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

"I keep telling her she should do something with her stupid little online pieces."

"I unleash greed, disease, and death on the world, and you're saying you ate an apple that made you smart?"

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."