Cocktail Conversation Pro Gifts

"I'm not really an actor; I just play one on TV."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Men gossiping

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"I like you because you have absolutely no agenda."

"My world is Tribeca, lars, and yours is a different world."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

'The first cocktail.'

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

White Wine Wisdom (2)

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. What do "man-to-man talks" usually consist of? What? I've never really had one, I don't think. What usually goes into them? Sports? Shaving? Carburetors? A little of this, a little of that. There's a proper ratio, of course. I'm not good at math.

Bar Therapy

'The divorce was ugly, but not as ugly as the marriage.'

"I unleash greed, disease, and death on the world, and you're saying you ate an apple that made you smart?"

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'

'This is our real-time chat room.'

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

"Hold that afterthought!"

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."

"I keep telling her she should do something with her stupid little online pieces."

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."