Cock-a-doodle Diviners Pillows

"You'll never soar like an eagle, but your wings will make you very popular."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Bad for you but to die for

The Mainstream

Back in my day, we were drawn with ink on paper, not on some fancy digital pad, but at least we knew we existed.

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

Crystal Ball Plug

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'It's my new fortune e-reader.'

Diner. We're out of link sausages. Are patties okay? Any pork in a storm!

'What's the use? Everyone has his own PC future-probability program these days.'

"Where should we target our advertising dollars? "Hold on, I'm checking my website."

"It's going to snow! Is that it?"

End of world nigh!!!

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

'Waiter, there's going to be a fly in my soup!'

"You will dance on your enemy's grave."

A self-filling prophecy.

Reading the future in beard stubble.

'I can see much grief, suffering and misfortune ahead - and you'll always be dogged by extremely bad luck - but, the good news is you're going to live to a very old age!'

"Yeah, my grandpa is a famous water diviner: he's discovered 63 wells to date..."

"The future's looking bleak! Is that it?"

'Decisions, decisions!'

"I'm the boss, I set the agenda, I make the decisions...GOT IT!"

Fortune teller has a diary for 2017

"You'll meet a handsome young man who will marry your best friend."

Plugged In

"He loves me!"