Drink Diviner Pillows

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

Complaints Desk

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

California Beverages Map

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"...and right here in Q2 is where the 'you know what' hit the fan. . ."

Crystal Ball Plug

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

Nectar of the Gods Dispenser.

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

"You will dance on your enemy's grave."

'Waiter, there's going to be a fly in my soup!'

"It's going to snow! Is that it?"

A self-filling prophecy.

End of world nigh!!!

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

Some line managers like to use graphs in performance management meetings.

'All drinks are double the normal price - it makes me happy.'

Reading the future in beard stubble.

Fortune teller using a computer rather than traditional methods

"I'm the boss, I set the agenda, I make the decisions...GOT IT!"

"You'll meet a handsome young man who will marry your best friend."

Fortune teller has a diary for 2017