Drink Diviner Pillows

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

Back in my day, we were drawn with ink on paper, not on some fancy digital pad, but at least we knew we existed.

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

Complaints Desk

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

California Beverages Map

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"...and right here in Q2 is where the 'you know what' hit the fan. . ."

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

'It's my new fortune e-reader.'

Nectar of the Gods Dispenser.

Diner. We're out of link sausages. Are patties okay? Any pork in a storm!

Crystal Ball Plug

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

'Waiter, there's going to be a fly in my soup!'

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

"You will dance on your enemy's grave."

A self-filling prophecy.

End of world nigh!!!

"It's going to snow! Is that it?"

Some line managers like to use graphs in performance management meetings.

'All drinks are double the normal price - it makes me happy.'

"You'll meet a handsome young man who will marry your best friend."

Fortune teller using a computer rather than traditional methods

"I'm the boss, I set the agenda, I make the decisions...GOT IT!"

Fortune teller has a diary for 2017