Clubhouse Chatterer Gifts

Men talking in a club house

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

"I figure if I don't have that third martini, then the terrorists win."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'Yesterday her kids and my kids started beating up our kids.'

"Let's discuss this feeling that you're always being blamed for bad golf scores!"

"This is a 'warts and all' biography with some really great warts."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

'Better get back to business and take your mind off golf for a change.'

'I don't let her have her way... she does it without my permission!'

"He couldn't sink that last putt, so now he's trying to drown it."

'I was given a ton of great career advice when I graduated from college. Unfortunately, I can't remember any of it because my entire brain is filled with passwords and PIN numbers.'

"I am, of course, quite fit, or, if you prefer, quite extraordinarily fit, but I wouldn't say I was 'perfectly fit.'"

'I'd like to keep it a boys only club too, but this is HER tree house!'

'How many shots did you have at the 19th hole?'

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

19th Hole.

'No, I don't like them, their shirts make me look fat.'

'Yeah, but did you hear the crowd roar when I hooked the cape out of your hands?'

"The Over-Sharing Economy"

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

"Hi! I'm Greg Holbrook, born in L.A., now live in Stamford with my wife and three kids, went to school at Exeter, graduated Yale '38, did a two-year hitch in the Navy, now write copy for McCann-Erickson, my hobbies are tennis and sailing. Who are you and what do you do?"

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

Wordplay 11. Repetition & on & on & on. . .

"Wine improves with age."

Thank You For Not Interrupting My Endless Stream of Chatter.

'Every time you get ready to make a call, on your mobile phone, you reach for a comfortable chair. No wonder all that air time translates into large phone bills.'

"I've never been one for conspiracy theories."