Clubhouse Chatterer Gifts

Men talking in a club house

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

"I figure if I don't have that third martini, then the terrorists win."

Sure, he can talk already, but it's all just psychobabble.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'Yesterday her kids and my kids started beating up our kids.'

"This is a 'warts and all' biography with some really great warts."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"Let's discuss this feeling that you're always being blamed for bad golf scores!"

'I don't let her have her way... she does it without my permission!'

"He couldn't sink that last putt, so now he's trying to drown it."

'Better get back to business and take your mind off golf for a change.'

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

'I was given a ton of great career advice when I graduated from college. Unfortunately, I can't remember any of it because my entire brain is filled with passwords and PIN numbers.'

'I'd like to keep it a boys only club too, but this is HER tree house!'

"I am, of course, quite fit, or, if you prefer, quite extraordinarily fit, but I wouldn't say I was 'perfectly fit.'"

'How many shots did you have at the 19th hole?'

I never realized what a bad golfer I was until somebody else kept score. Club House.

"The Over-Sharing Economy"

I was telling him a story of my granddaughter's wedding.

'Yeah, but did you hear the crowd roar when I hooked the cape out of your hands?'

'No, I don't like them, their shirts make me look fat.'

19th Hole.

"Hi! I'm Greg Holbrook, born in L.A., now live in Stamford with my wife and three kids, went to school at Exeter, graduated Yale '38, did a two-year hitch in the Navy, now write copy for McCann-Erickson, my hobbies are tennis and sailing. Who are you and what do you do?"

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

Wordplay 11. Repetition & on & on & on. . .

'Every time you get ready to make a call, on your mobile phone, you reach for a comfortable chair. No wonder all that air time translates into large phone bills.'

Thank You For Not Interrupting My Endless Stream of Chatter.

'Did you see iPlayer last night?'